Keep your eagerness in check
Love yourself first
Express gratitude for current loving relationships
It’s a good idea to take inventory of those wonderful relationships that you already have. Now take the time to feel very grateful for those people. Relationships are a very human element of our lifetime experience, but that gratitude you feel is quite powerful.
LIFE RULE: This is no human force of attraction greater than the power of gratitude.
This is true; when we emit feelings of gratitude, we are opening ourselves up to receive more good things in our life. From a profoundly spiritual standpoint, sages tell us that giving and receiving occur on the same level – and gratitude exists on that level as a form of receiving.
Now let me quickly point out a distinction before you get the wrong idea here. We are talking about gratitude on a general level; we are not referring to a romantic level. You must first function powerfully and healthily before attracting the right soulmate into your life.
Gratitude can be so powerful because we’re programmed to hear so many negative forms of feedback and expression – just look at the news.
Gratitude is a refreshing change from that gloomy outlook on life that everyone seems to have. It makes you a shining star, and others begin to wonder what’s going on in your life to make you so happy.
Quit judging everything
Perhaps the most toxic element of modern society today is that of casting judgment.
For the life of me, I cannot understand the desire for constant judgment. Here are a few facts about judging others:
We naturally suck at judging. This is because we can only judge the actions of others and not their thoughts – and all their actions come from thoughts. Only our creators can judge us because only they know our true thoughts.
We judge based on our perceptions. The way we see things are biased and depend on many factors. We only need to ask several people about the same event and watch how they differ.
We are forced to defend judgments. When we judge others, they retaliate, and we are forced to defend our views. Sometimes, this is healthy, and views need to be debated – but not when you’re passing judgment about trivial matters like someone’s hairstyle or choice of companion.
Judgments require lots of mental energy. If we are not careful when we judge the external world around us, we defend our positions through constant mental dialog within our minds. This practice is quite normal for judgmental people, and they often feel exhausted.
LIFE RULE: When you decide to quit judging and let the world be itself, you’ll experience more peace and have more mental energy than you can imagine.
Replace your urge to judge with a feeling of humility. When you acknowledge your humility, you do the opposite of judging. It forces you to understand that people around you are making mistakes on a daily basis – just like you are.
What they need is encouragement and understanding from you. Hopefully, that’s what they’ll give you when you make your next mistake.
But humility does something else too – and that something is really special.
LIFE RULE: Sincere and authentic humility is one of nature’s most prominent rapport-building traits among humans.
When you’re willing to discuss something you did wrong, some people around you will often reciprocate. This reciprocation is a rapport-building indicator.
Humans have always been attracted to one another through their imperfections. Think back to your own experiences – hasn’t this been true?
Do you recall a person from your past that you thought was stuck-up and arrogant? But then, one day, they confided and admitted to you about a mistake they made.
In my life, this experience grew into one of the closest friendships I ever had.
Please be grateful and humble in your own life. Ignore those who don’t respond favorably to this; there will always be a few of them.
Eliminate obstacles against love that you have built
When you’ve had a mindset of feeling lonely and desperate, it is normal for us to make obstacles against ever finding our soulmate. If you’ve done this, do not worry, your awareness of it is a great sign.
If you haven’t done this, please read through this to make sure you haven’t – sometimes, awareness can be enlightening.
The fact is that we build these obstacles against love to protect ourselves. The Course in Miracles (which is a wonderful spiritual read) claims that we need only remove the barriers we have built against them to attract something to our lives. I have found this to be true.
The first part of this process is to remove the remnants of your past relationship. Before you can move on, you have to get rid of their physical belongings and memorabilia. Do things like getting their name off your mailbox and their voice off your voicemail greeting message.
Trying to observe your surroundings through the eyes of a potential soulmate. Would you be comfortable with such things in another person’s life that you are considering as a romantic companion?
Some things and situations will be more challenging than others. Things like pictures and letters can be complicated – especially if the two of you had children together.
If you can’t get those things back to your ex-partner, find a suitable alternative such as donating to charity or giving to a relative. This is something you must do to move on to a happy relationship.
LOVE RULE: Relationships are like gardens; you must remove all the weeds and freshly plow them to get fresh new growth.
Don’t look for a Hallmark ending
Too many people get caught in the passion and feeling of love by expecting a glorious happily ever after ending their love quest. Women are especially prone to do this.
The fact is that this rarely ever happens in real life. But the good news is that your ending and love quest will be even better. This is because it includes you and your soulmate. Secondly, it’s a fresh new story, not an old book or movie rerun. Thirdly, it’s a story that is tailor-made for you and your partner.
The Hallmark ending vision can have a harmful effect on how to attract your soul mate process. For instance, I can remember reading some personal ads describing the exact features they seek in a future soulmate.
It’s hard to find a worse way of not attracting a good relationship than this. People who specify what they physically expect in another person like this is shutting off their minds to enormous possibility and disrupting the entire process.
LIFE RULE: Sometimes, the universe is trying to give us something even better than what we think we want, but we just get in the way.
This rule applies to everything in our life.
A few years ago, our house caught on fire. I rushed to get our cat before heading out the door. My cat kept running from me.
I remember thinking, “Your crazy cat, why are you running from me? Don’t you know that I’m trying to take you to safety?”
Then I realize that this is exactly what we humans do. The universe is trying to get us to safety, but we keep running from it and preventing that from happening.
Spread your joy
The Law of Attraction tells us that likes attract likes. This is why we should fill ourselves with gratitude and humility and then spread our joy everywhere we go.
This does not mean you have to act like some crazy bubbly person who spews nonsense. Introverted people can do this. It depends on who you are; as we discussed, you must know yourself.
LIFE RULE: The level at which people respond positively to you depends on your authenticity.
When you are tapped into your purpose, and who you really are, you are at an optimal level. Now, this doesn’t mean everyone will love you because that’s impossible.
But it does mean that most of those who are best suited to be a part of your life will absolutely adore you. So if you feel brushed off by someone, don’t sweat it; it just means you’re on a different wavelength.
Some people wonder how to connect with your soulmate in dreams. This happens sometimes, but I think you need to vibrate at a pretty high level to see your soulmate in your dreams.
Remember, life should be fun – so enjoy it by spreading your joy around.
Create a great life and then invite others in
As we read along and discussed the elements of getting ready to attract your soulmate, it’s been a process of retooling the way you think and look at the world.
If you are diligent and patient, you’ll build a wonderful life without a love companion. This is exactly the place you want to be before sharing your life with someone.
Your self-esteem is high enough to where you will not allow someone in your life unless they enhance your world in some way. Unfortunately, the world is full of takers, so you need to be selective.
LOVE RULE: No relationship is much better than a bad relationship.
You will discover that people become more attracted to you when you don’t need them. When you create your own wonderful life, you show the world that you are happy by yourself. This makes you more attractive to more people around you.
When you are content with yourself, you will not settle for keeping the company of people who are bad for you. Secondly, you protect yourself against manipulation.
When you think about it, relationships can actually be simple. And we should think long and hard about this when learning how to attract soulmates.
For instance, the most attractive person at any party is the person that expresses joy and gratitude and loves everything that is going on in their life.
And the least attractive is that person who complains about their work is bitter about their poor choices and focuses on everything they don’t like about their lives.
From these two statements, we can conclude one crucial and simple thing. A relationship depends on how that other person feels when they are with you and how you feel when you are with them.
Relationships are fine as long as those feelings are maintained.