We have all been there. We do our very best and sometimes we only make things worse. While it’s bad enough that we messed up, it really hurts when we let others down that were depending on us. But the real damage comes from letting ourselves down. This is why learning to redeem yourself is such an important life skill.
The reason why letting ourselves down is so damaging is because it causes us to question every future move we make. Every option that we consider about anything in our minds receives enormous scrutiny. And when we do this, we are not putting our best foot forward.
So let’s start learning to redeem yourself by examining some basic steps we can take.
How to Redeem Yourself
1) Figure Out Exactly What You Did Wrong – You need to take a deep breath and calm yourself first. Now start reviewing the steps you took leading up to your mistake. Determine what went wrong and rationalize the process. Now you will need to identify what you should have done instead.
This will help prevent you from making the same mistake again in the future. You need to understand that there is a very fine line between identifying the reason for the mistake and making excuses. Never get in the habit of making excuses. It will destroy your credibility in the eyes of others.
2) Acknowledge Your Mistake Before Others Find Out – This may not always be possible, but if you can, you should own to your mistake before it is discovered. However, make sure that you have perform the previous step so that you can tell them why it happened and what you will do to prevent a recurrence.
While making excuses will hurt your credibility, acknowledging your wrong doing will enhance your credibility, but this may take time. Initially, you may encounter anger and a negative response. Try not to take this personally because it is your actions that they are upset about.
3) Let Those Affected Express Their Feelings – Others will need to express to you fully about how they were damaged from your mistake. Two things are critical at this point: a) listen to everything that have to say, and b) take full responsibility for the outcome.
You must realize that everyone affected needs to express their feelings. This is how we are able to move past our mistakes and really learn from them. But the good thing here is that your relationships will grow stronger in the long run if you do it right.
4) Understand Any Ramifications – You must realize that it may take some time before the reactions from your mistake go away. Understand that you may have to rebuild some trust with those who were most affected by your screw-up.
Do not let this discourage you, instead be compassion to those who were affected. Let them know in subtle ways that you are fully aware of letting them down. Be very patient.
5) Do not Forget the Apologies – In the end, there are two sets of apologies that will be required. The first are those you owe to the people who were affected by your mistake. The second is the one you owe yourself. Never fail to apologize because people will remember if you didn’t and this will impair your relationship(s) with them.
On the other hand, do not overdo it with the apologies. Give a sincere apology and then move past the incident. Do not get in the habit of apologizing every time the incident is brought up – it is not required, even though there may be some people who feel otherwise – understand that these people do not really care about you.
Hopefully, these steps in learning to redeem yourself have been helpful. As with everything in life, they are more effective when you can apply your own brand of sincerity through your own personality. This is certainly plenty of leeway for this approach.