There’s an intoxicating feeling that comes with new relationships. We’ve all felt it, and it is one of the most delightful things about being in a relationship. And if we’re lucky, that new union will evolve into a long-term endeavor.
But sometimes, that comfortable coexistence mutates into toxic codependency. Supposedly, there are many more codependent relationships today than we could ever imagine.
If we are codependent, we might find ourselves not being happy because our partner isn’t happy. And we often become hesitant about making any decision unless it meets their approval. These are definitely signs of a codependent person.
It’s essential to understand that it is not necessarily the relationships that are codependent; it’s the people in them. In a codependent relationship, the self-worth of that codependent person is based on the other person needing them.
The fact is that toxic codependency will ultimately destroy relationships, so actions must be taken. Learning how to be less codependent is a great first step,
What is codependency?
Codependency is a term that is often used to describe unhealthy relationships. In a codependent relationship, one person is usually dependent on the other for their emotional or financial needs. This can lead to a toxic codependent relationship, where one person feels they cannot live without the other.
Codependency can cause problems in all types of relationships, including family, romantic, and platonic relationships. If you are in a codependent relationship, you may feel like you cannot live without the other person. You may also find yourself constantly giving to the other person without getting anything in return. This can lead to feelings of resentment and can be emotionally draining.
Codependency can be a complicated issue, but it is possible to overcome it.
How does someone become codependent?
There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question, as the causes of codependency can vary from person to person. However, there are some common factors that can contribute to someone becoming codependent in a relationship.
For example, if someone has low self-esteem or feels like they need to be needed in order to feel valuable, they may be more likely to become codependent.
Additionally, codependency can also be caused by past trauma or abuse and being raised in an environment where codependent behaviors were modeled or encouraged.
If you’re wondering whether you might be codependent in your relationship, it can be helpful to ask yourself how healthy and balanced your relationship feels.
Do you feel like you’re always giving and never receiving?
Do you feel like you need your partner to be a certain way for you to be happy?
If you answered yes to these questions, codependency might be playing a role in your relationship. Understanding codependency and taking steps to address it can help improve your relationship’s overall health and balance.
What are the signs of a codependent person?
There are many signs of a codependent person in a relationship. A codependent person may be overly clingy or dependent on their partner.
They may have difficulty expressing their own needs and wants instead of focusing on their partner’s needs. Codependent people may also have trouble setting boundaries and may allow their partners to control them.
Other signs of a codependent person include low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. If you think you may be codependent in your relationship, it is essential to address this condition. Sometimes a therapist or counselor is needed.
What are some codependent behavior examples?
Some examples of codependent behavior include: needing constant reassurance, being overly possessive, feeling responsible for others’ happiness, always putting others first, and being unable to say no. This type of behavior often stems from low self-esteem and a fear of abandonment.
Codependent relationships are usually unbalanced, with one person being more needy and dependent than the other. In some cases, codependency can be a form of emotional abuse.
How to be less codependent
The good news is that many people have learned to overcome codependency on their own. For some, knowing what it means to be codependent and the damage it causes may be enough to change their behavior. Taking the following measures to overcome codependence might help:
Look for healthy signs in your relationship. To break free from codependent habits, you must first grasp what a good relationship should look like. A healthy connection includes making time for each other, maintaining individuality, being truthful and open, expressing love and respect, and maintaining equality.
Create healthy boundaries. Individuals with healthy relationships are both encouraging and polite to one another while respecting each other’s limits. A boundary is a limitation set by you that defines what you are willing and unwilling to accept in a relationship. Consider your own criteria for what constitutes acceptable behavior. Set limits, and then practice enforcing them until you’re comfortable doing so.
Be good to yourself. Low self-esteem is common among individuals who are in codependent relationships. To break free from codependence, you must first appreciate yourself. Learn more about the things that make you happy and the type of lifestyle you want to live.
Make sure you’re getting enough food, rest, and self-care for your emotional well-being by eating properly, getting plenty of sleep, and taking care of yourself. Spend time doing the activities you like to do. Overcoming negative self-talk and replacing self-deprecating ideas with more realistic ones will also help.
Some learn about their codependent tendencies from books or articles. Others cease to be codependent when they encounter environmental changes, such as when a spouse recovers from alcoholism or gains a new job that necessitates them to let go of care-taking.
Is there a treatment for codependency?
Codependency is a psychological condition in which someone has an overbearing reliance on others for their own well-being and happiness. Many different types of therapy have been discovered in studies to improve one’s quality of life and teach people how to stop their codependent actions. Talk therapy may be used to cure it. Professional assistance may be required.
There are several distinct forms of group therapy for codependency. The group dynamic permits people to form better connections in a healthy setting. Giving helpful feedback and ensuring that individuals remain accountable are standard features of group therapy.
The form of group therapy varies. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is one method that involves learning specific skill-building techniques.
Other codependency organizations also use the 12-step approach. Individuals in these groups learn about their relationship addiction in the same way others do in 12-step groups. Increasing self-awareness, self-esteem, and the expression of emotions are all possible objectives.
Couples therapy focuses on the dysfunctionalities of a romantic relationship. A couple can learn to identify their dysfunctional patterns and use that knowledge to enhance their relationship.
Communication is frequently a significant aim of couples therapy. Issues that have never previously been addressed may be discussed during treatment. Occasionally, one person makes a shift (such as getting sober or encouraging someone to be more autonomous) and transforms the entire relationship dynamic.
Cognitive therapy can be used to treat the ideas that contribute to dysfunctional relationship patterns. For example, an individual who thinks, “I can’t stand being alone,” is likely to go to great lengths to keep the relationship regardless of whether it’s healthy. Therapy sessions might focus on learning how to tolerate unpleasant emotions and alter illogical beliefs.
The objective is to encourage suitable behavior adjustments and allow the other person to accept greater personal responsibility for their actions.
Because most codependent individuals are modeling their relationships after the ones they grew up seeing, therapy may look into a person’s childhood. Therapy might help someone reconnect with their feelings and allow them to experience a variety of emotions again.