And how you can tap into his deep desire for commitment…
Janet couldn’t understand it at all. Tommy had enchanted her on their first few dates. No men before had worked that hard to impress her.
And his efforts worked! He was engaged, attentive, and respectful.
But when Janet knew that she’d fallen for him – he was gone!
Now it seemed that their roles were reversed. In a blink of an eye, she now found herself working for his attention.
Why do guys do this? Why do they shut women out?
Of course, not all men pull away when things begin to heating up, but many of them do.
It happens enough, that it has become a common concern with women.
Guys tend to come on strong, displaying a level of passion that would make Romeo envious, but then when Juliet submits, it’s game over.
What’s the deal?
This is why dating can be tough. While it can be fun and exciting too, your nerves and emotions can take a real beating sometimes.
Early on, it is all about the chase. He works to get your undivided attention, and then you have to decide if he’s worth the risk.
This is the point of a dating relationship when two people get so focused on the pursuit that they haven’t thought about the next step.
But then, the pursuit changes.
You finally decide that you like the guy, and after realizing that he has won your attention, he shifts his thinking to a serious relationship. And whether or not he really wants one.
The good news is that he probably does, otherwise he wouldn’t have chased you!
However, wanting it and having the courage to follow through can be two different things.
So, what can a girl do?
Let begin by telling you what you should NOT do.
Two Common Mistakes To Avoid
First, do not assume that it is about you. Because it probably isn’t. Remember that he was into you before you were into him. So he is probably still into you.
Second, never pressure him. This is the point where you have probably gotten some terrible advice. Many so called relationship experts will say that you should play “hard to get” or something like it.
Rather than doing that, just make sure he knows that you are interested in him.
But when doing so, do not push or smother him.
So why do guys pull back and shut down at this point in a relationship? It’s because he’s nervous and freaking out a little bit about giving up his freedom.
Never ever change, just be the girl he fell in love with
During the chase phase of a budding relationship, it is his desire that motivates him. When he realizes that it could be something real, this motivation will shift.
This is when he begins thinking about everything he will have to give up, and how his lifestyle will change.
(Many men will irrationally panic that all of their future activities will instantly become feminized if they commit to a girl.)
When he starts to act this way, you don’t need to change anything you are doing. Whenever he acts distant, you should appear completely comfortable and calm.
Just keep being the girl he fell in love with (confident, carefree, and available).
If you freak out—then he will freak him out too. Don’t place any demands for his attention—that will send him out the door. And don’t flip out thinking he has seen a fatal flaw in you.
Such a thought process will always put a negative image of you in his mind, and that’s not attractive at all.
Assume The Best
Never forget that he pursued you for a few dates, hoping that you were into him. So he has already gone out on a limb for you.
So now it’s your turn to go out on a limb for him. Give him the space he needs to feel comfortable while making sure he knows you are still interested.
Any man that is looking for a mature and sincere relationship will come to his senses when realizing there is nothing to fear.
And any man who isn’t ready for a real relationship wasn’t the man for you anyway!
Okay, before you lean back into the “wait and see mode,” let us look at a shortcut that will pull him back and reignite his passion for you at lightening speed.
While there is nothing at all wrong with being patient, it’s just nice to speed things along sometimes … so, here’s what you can do next…
Whenever He Shuts You Out …
Countless data from studies have shown that guys would rather have respect than to be loved. It’s just the way their DNA is wired.
Men have an irrational desire to win your respect as a means of becoming worthy of your love.
It’s actually one of the few “secrets” that gives women an unfair advantage with guys.
Here’s how you can use this fact.
Whenever you know how channel a guy deep-seeded desire to win your respect in specific ways, he’ll bend over backwards to please you.
And the more often he does it, the easier it is for him to see himself in a long-term relationship with you.
Learn his favorite way to win your respect
Men want to be heroic. He yearns to solve your problems, come to your aid, and prove that he is useful.
While this may not be very romantic to you, it’s a vital part of his DNA.
And there’s a wonderful video that thoroughly explains how this phenomenon works, so that you can tap into his hero instinct anytime you want. And it works even when he’s asking for more space.